The D Rules!!: Kansas Basketball

100 Facts That You Didn't Know About The D

1. The D doesn't have to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Tall buildings duck under The D.

2. The D can delete the Recycling Bin.

3. When The D goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

4. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but The D says its beef, then it's beef.

5. Whenever The D plays Chutes and Ladders, he treats the chutes as ladders, because he's not some sissy who can't climb up a plastic slide.

6. When The D deletes files from his computer, he doesn't send them to the Recycle Bin. He sends them to hell.

7. The D can slam revolving doors.

8. Once a cobra bit The D's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

9.The D can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.

10. Giraffes were created when The D uppercut a horse.

11. The D is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why he can only kick through doors.

12. The D was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

13. On his birthday, The D randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

14. The D can speak braille.

15. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for The D.

16. The D once stated that he "doesn't wail on sissy boys." This led to the pink polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know that The D was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on.

17. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. The D can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.

18. The D doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

19. The D does not sleep. He waits.

20. The D once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

21. World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted the same time, The D ate Kobayashi.

22. If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear The D laughing at you.

23. The D died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

24. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects The D could use to kill you, including the room itself.

25. The D sleeps with a night light. Not because The D is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of The D.

26. The D is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

27. The D's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools The D.

28. The D always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.

29. The D is the only one who can "try this at home."

30. The D beat a wall at tennis. Yes. A WALL.

31. The D's blood type is WD-40.

32. If The D wants some shade, he stares the sun down until it eclipses.

33. The D played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

34. The last man who made eye contact with The D was Ray Charles.

35. The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that The D's basement was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox.

36. You are what you eat. That is why The D's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

37. The D owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

38. Circles exist because The D beat the crap out of some squares.

39. The D had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow, and anywhere The D went the lamb was sure to go. So he killed it.

40. The D was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

41. The D invented the hammer when he was tired of using his forehead to slam nails into wood.

42. Getting murdered by The D counts as a natural cause of death.

43. When The D plays any video game, God mode automatically turns on.

44. The D destroyed the periodic table, saying The D only recognizes the element of surprise.

45. The D puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

46. The D counted to infinity - twice.

47. The D can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

48. Only once has The D ever cried. The only survivors were a bunch of animals and some dude named Noah.

49. The popular video game "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from The D and forgot to pay him back.

50. The D's family wraps his holiday presents in lead, so he can't see what's in them.

51. The D and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.

52. The D once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

53. The D irons his shirts while he's wearing them.

54. The D once got caught doing 100 in a 50 zone. The cop did give him a speeding ticket, however The D still pleads his innocence to this day, stating that he was simply out for a morning jog.

55. The D wears a cup not to protect himself, but to protect the players on the other team.

56. The D knows the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow (African *AND* European).

57. Onions do not make The D cry. The D makes onions crap themselves.

58. If you haven't seen Alien vs. Predator yet, don't bother, The D wins.

59. The D was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

60. The D can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

61. The D was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us, who have to fight for it.

62. On a high school math test, The D put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because The D solves all his problems with Violence.

63. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to The D and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

64. The D doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

65. The D does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

66. The D invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

67. If at first you don't succeed, you must not be The D.

68. Crop circles are The D's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the hell down and shut the fuck up!.

69. The D does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. The D goes killing.

70. The D does not believe that there are 50 states, only 2, because where ever he goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever he leaves, he leaves a State of Destruction.

71. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because The D is going to walk.

72. When The D enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

73. The only time The D was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

74. The D has the heart of a child. He keeps it in a small box.

75. The word "lesbian" derives from an old Latin phrase that roughly translates as "She who has not yet been introduced to The D."

76. Superman owns a pair of The D pajamas.

77. The movie Ray is loosely based on the life of The D, only they substituted piano playing for eating toddlers, and blindness for the ability to fly.

78. What scientists thought was natural selection is actually only the continued survival of animals The D has found too chewy to eat.

79. When The D gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

80. Santa Claus actually *did* exist until he accidentally skipped The D's house one Christmas.

81. The D has beat the crap out of so many people over his brilliant life that most medical journals now classify him as a laxative.

82. Weeping Willows are a result of The D yelling at trees for not being tough enough.

83. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when The D punched himself in the face.

84. The D can watch a season of "24" in just three hours.

85. The D is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right fist.

86. The D became a vegetarian not because he loves animals, but because he hates plants.

87. The D's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because The D will not take crap from anyone.

88. The D sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with his eyes open, and he looks pissed off.

89. The D can predict the shuffle on his iPod.

90. The D used to beat the crap out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.

91. The D is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.

92. The D doesn't have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.

93. The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: The D was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster.

94. The D can kill two stones with one bird.

95. The D can tie his shoes with his feet.

96. The D is the only person in the world who can actually give 110%.

97. The D can make a paraplegic run for his life.

98. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures The D allows to live.

99. When The D gets pulled over he lets the cop off with a warning.

100. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless The D has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Showing posts with label Kansas Basketball. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Just like...

...the Jayhawks who crushed the Missouri Tigers last night.

From File Girl. Thanks!

November is only 6 short months away. Get it here. Or find more here.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Wondering...

Why would someone bring in left over Superbowl food to your office? Hot wings, chips, cold nacho cheese, some (kind of crappy) salsa, and half a crock pot of chili? Don't even get me started on the stench.

Is it just me or did the majority of the Superbowl commercials suck balls?

Tonight is the Boarder War, MU vs. KU at Allen Field house in Lawrence KS. 8 pm on ESPN. Then stay tuned for Sportscenter.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The Sun Shines...

...on a dogs ass every once in while.

Congrats to KSU for beating KU for the first time EVER in Bramlage Coliseum. You're 1-19 vs KU in YOUR OWN HOUSE!

And Congrats to Erin for seeing KSU beating KU at home for the first time, in her life it truly must be a a wonderful feeling.

KU would never let a streak like that happen.

And congrats to the rest of you KSU bloggers, Chimpo, Emawkc, and Nightmare. (I'm clearly out numbered here.)

Monday, January 21, 2008

Weekend Update

With months of planning the banquet went off without a hitch. I had the perfect system all set up. But it took me almost all night to print over 120 name tags Friday night using my home printer. I also had to print 35 applications for the neophytes at 5 pages each is a lot of paper and ink.

Some history on this banquet that we throw every year. This was our 87th meeting. The club has had a lot of influential members though out the years most notably President Harry Truman was initiated in the 30's. The membership is now populated with upstanding citizens from Kansas City Kansas, my home town. We have doctors, lawyers, judges, business owners, politicians, insurance men, police officers, firemen. People from every walk of life. If I gave you some of their names you would be amazed at the quality of people. But I'm not going to give you any names.

I guess the best way to describe the club is to say that it's part Friar's club roast, part fraternity. It's really a good time.

One thing I can tell you that happened to me, which was completely amazing and totally random. I was talking to one of our photographers about how the day went and the other photographer came over and asked me if I had family in Jefferson City (we all wear name tags). I said yea both of my parents are from Jeff City, long story short he had grown up with my Dads brother (my uncle) and my mothers brother. I still have to call mom and tell her about it. She's probably flip out. It just goes to show you what a small world we all live in.

After the ceremony the group (which you already know as my crew, Mr. Awesome, Reggie, Scooter, The EYE-talian, and a few others) that planned the event went over to a bar in KCK and watched UNC lose to Maryland which was just enough to make the day pretty effin sweet. Then we headed to Danny's again had dinner and watched KU beat those slack jawed yolks from Mizzou.

There was really a lot of random, and amazing stuff that happened thought out the day. But I still have a lot of work to do as far as updating the roster with new members, and updating current members with new contact information. Which is going to take me a couple of nights to get though all of the new members. Overall we had 132 people attend which is a pretty good turnout but not our best.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Weekend Recap Part 1: Danny's

Friday night Mr. Awesome, Scooter, Pitt and I headed out west for a change. I arrived late to Mr. Awesome’s house which is about par for the course for me. Had a couple of beers then headed to Danny’s Bar & Grill. (There's also one out south for those of you still afraid of The Dotte) Danny’s is a good place to watch a sporting event, They have 3 huge projection TV’s and a crap load of flat screens on every wall. There really isn’t a bad seat in the house if you're there to watch a game. The beers are cold, I was drinking Blvd Wheat, and the service is pretty good. Even thought the place was crowded, when it was my turn for the round I only had to wait a few seconds to get my order to the bartender. Plus, they have plastic cups that you can take with you (as long as they’re empty of course). I really couldn’t say that the bar had one allegiance to any certain school (KSU, KU) or not. I’ve been out there for KU games before and have seen an equal mix of KSU and KU fans. Although we didn’t eat I know that the place has probably the best bar food in town.

The first time Mr. Awesome and I were there a few months after it opened. He ordered the steak. Now, there is some thing you need to know about Mr. Awesome. Mr. Awesome has never ever gotten a steak the way he likes it, on the first go around. He’s not picky it’s just that they never get it right. Not even at really expensive steak houses, like Ruth Chris, Gallaghers, Morton’s, or Plaza III, or any other place for that matter. But Danny’s does get it right. He has had it a few times and every time they get it right for him the first time. Acording to him its the best steak in town. (you also get taters (baked or mashed), your choice of vegtables, roll, and a hand job) all for 10 bucks.

It’s also a family friendly bar (with a kids menu) so bring the kids, but get them home before 10 p.m. Kids don’t belong in bars after 10 p.m.

Up next…
The Saddle Ranch and Banana Joe’s.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

OH WHATEVAR!!

Today, I finally got off the couch and ran some errands. I stopped by the SIL's house and picked up some extra pics she had of the fam. They apparently mucked up the cutting and gave them to her for free. My pics won't be ready until Tuesday. I then went and picked out a frame from Tar-jay. They're like a 4x5 size which made it difficult to find a frame that would have fit all of them, but I did and I think I made a fine choice. I'll have to go back once my pics come in, but that's no biggie.

I also swung by Kansas Sampler and picked up one of these.

I get all my KU paraphernalia from there. They also have a shit load of KSU and MU stuff. They have equal amounts of stuff for each school and the store is separated by school so you MU deviants don't go wondering into KU or KSU area. It's a good place check it out. They also have a good selection of Chiefs and Royals stuff, but who's gonna buy that stuff?

Now, I can't decide if I want to go out tonight or not. If I chose to go out I would then have to shave and I don't want to shave. Because then I would just have to shave again Monday morning for work. It's a nice night for a January and I bet there will be some hot chicks out tonight.

I would then have to find some place to go and someone to go with. And what do with the movie that I rented last week? Which is do back tomorrow?

Anyway, I'll figure something out.

Peace out Y'all!

Friday, January 04, 2008

Not what you expect

This is not going to be a post about how great it was to watch KU beat Virginia Tech in the Orange bowl last night. (Although it was.) Because I'm not a person that'll gloat about it. I will talk all the shit that anybody wants to, but when my team wins, I won't rub it in your face. That's what Missouri does and it's totally classless.

But what does bother me is when Kansans root AGAINST fellow Kansans. (Don't give me that crap about "The friend of my enemy is still my friend" bullshit.) You KSU Alumni, students, and boosters, should have been rooting for Kansas last night. When y'all root for anyone that's playing against Kansas, or when the Kansas populous root for anyone that plays against K-State for that matter, is really shame, and it hits my feeling. We Kansans need to stick together and develop some pride in our state.

When I was in the Marine Corps I would always get some lame ass line from those hillbilly backwater fucks from Texas about Kansas being a lame state. I'd always tell them that if Kansans wanted to, we could easily take over the United States. Or the fact that if the U.S.A. were to be invaded the invasion would come from the gulf because Texans couldn't hit the sky with an M-16 if they aimed it straight up. Then they would get pissed and I have to punch them in the face and stand over them yelling "Who's the tougher state now Fuckhead!"

But I'm getting off the subject here. What I'm trying to say is when the KSU population root for Missouri. When KU plays Mizzou, in any sport, you're basically giving your approval for SLAVERY!

And I know you wouldn't want to do that.

So, lets get over all the name calling and the hate fullness that was the '07 football season. And put forth all of our hated of each others schools towards the basketball season and those douche bags from Missouri.

Good luck to all of you, because you will need it. ROCK CAULK JAYHAWK GO KU!!!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Weekend Fun

Friday night I just chilled out at the house. Saturday The EYE-talian, Scooter, his wife, and I, (The D) went to the KU game at the Sprint Center.

Scooter scored some tix from someone that had VIP tickets to the Founders Room.

The beers were 7 BUCKS!!

Best 7 dollar beer EVAR!

On to the game! These 2 picks were taken one after the other. This one is not zoomed in at all (yea were way the fuck up there but they were kind enough to hand out free oxygen masks.)

And this one is taken right after with the FULL ZOOM!!

Doesn't that zoom just kick ass! (This is where you can insert your own joke about a zoom lens and my penis.)

Here I am concentrating on either the game or the cheerleaders or both. It was cold in the Sprint Area so I kept my scarf on the whole game.

And what kind of blogger would I be if I went to a sporting event and didn't include some cheerleader picks? Here ya, go your welcome;

That spot is some jerks bald head.

Here are some random game actions shots: HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!

Time out, Bill wants to talk this over.

Darrell Arthur at the line.

After the ass whipping we put on Ohio the 4 of us head over to McFadden's for some tasty libations.

These are random peeps.

I probably just said something inappropriate to some random chick. Oh, well!

After Mcfadden's we headed to Westport where Scooter dropped the EYE-Tailian and I off at Kelly's. I was rocking the Escalade!

We had one drink at Kelly's then we headed to the Point. Where I my buddy B.C. was working. We had a bunch of drinks there. Then The EYE-talian had to go cause he was wasted. I then headed down to J.J's to crashed a G.N.O that some of my pals were having. It made their night that I showed up.

When I got there Abby started yelling at me b/c I was "apparently" wearing my scarf wrong. So my new pal Baywatch fixed it.

I really don't know whats up with these faces I'm making.

No I wasn't drunk at ALL!

Anyway Peace out my Homies!
Thanks for reading!

Saturday, December 08, 2007

THE ICE STORM OF 2007! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!

Today in Kansas City we're having The Ice Storm of 2007! And according to Devon Lucie of KCTV we will all die. Or at least most of us. Devon does nice job of giving us the details of the weather (btw, how old is this dude 12?) but he just does not instill enough fear like his boss Katie Horner does so for me to get really scared about this storm then they better get Lady Doomsday in there pronto or I'm just going to ignore Devon instructions.

Devon tell us the we should stay off the streets because there have already been hundreds killed* in accidents. The streets are a complete sheet of ice. There is not a paved road way in the city that does not have at least 2 inches of ice on it! That includes sidewalks, parkways, driveways, over passes, and your fat girlfriends ass!

O.k Devon YOU stay off the streets! I for one will be out about 12 today once I get hungry again. I just had a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios (it's quite possibly the greatest cereal ever!) and since I only have a bottle of Bacardi, a 12 pack of Diet Coke, 13 Bud lights, and about 10 Boulevard Wheats to consume in the house, and no actual "food". Then I'm going to have to hit the Price Chopper on Stateline and 76th. (I go there because it's in the land of MILF's and Hoes.)

If I follow Devon's advice and not go out then I'm going to have to drink all that booze myself, and when I get drunk, bored, and lonely, bad things tend to happen. And since I'm not a RAGING alcoholic, and by raging I mean I don't start drinking before 11:30 a.m., I'm not going to do that.

Devon just told me that freezing rain is just precipitation that falls from the sky and freezes. WTF?? HOLY SHIT! That's what freezing rain is? I never knew that, thanks for pointing that out JACKASS! Where did they find this dude, Canada? (No offense to the Canadians that read this. I love Canada, you're Americas hat! We love ya, stay classy!

Devon is also telling people how they are going to die today! By freezing to death! If you lose power then you're FUCKED like a Philippine whore during fleet week, six ways to Sunday! I have a fat neighbor that I can cut open and crawl inside of for warmth. But if my power goes out during the KU game On ESPN (in HD) at 1 o'clock. (That reminds me I should probably take a shower how while I still have hot water) then I'm going to head up to The Cities Twin Tavern and hang there until they fix it. (I'll update my status, by cell phone, at the top there if the power goes out.)

Good luck to all of you today in your survival of the the ICE STORM OF 2007. And God Speed to you all. If you die let me know so I can take you off my blog roll will ya? Just because your dead is no excuse to be rude.

*that number may or may not be right.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

24 HOURS!!

Everyone has 24 hours to talk all the shit they want. The time now is 2:55a.m. Sunday morning.

After that I will shut off comments and you will be S.O.L.

I can take it, I'm a big boy. Don't worry about my feeling's I can take it.

Let loose.

BTW Kansas will kill Sunday night in Basketball Sunday night.

And you know it.

Bitches.

Monday, November 19, 2007

McFadden's Sports Saloon

Friday night Mr. Awesome and I went down to check out the Zeros at McFadden’s Saloon in the new P&L District downtown. It’s your basic sports bar with lots of flat panel TV’s and cold beer.

But I have issues.

First off, if this is a chain of sports bars, and IF I have the correct web site linked then why does it not list Kansas City on their site? What are we second string? They say that there is one coming soon to Las Vegas, but what about the one you just opened 3 weeks ago in Kansas Fucking City? Are you not proud of it? Are you going to keep your K.C. location a secret like your retarded step child? It’s bush league, people! Update your fucking site! TODAY!! (Of course, if I don’t have the right web site linked then you can just ignore this whole paragraph.)

This was our first time to the new Power & Light District and we really didn’t know our way around as far as parking went. We arrived about 8 or so and just parked in the first parking garage we could find and paid the 5 bucks, while walking up we saw that there was parking under McFadden’s for only 2 bucks, count that one for lack of experience.

When we got to McFadden’s they check our I.D.’s (really, you’re going to check my ID? I’m thirty-fuckin'-seven. I don’t at least look like I’m 21? I was probably older that the dude checking I.D’s). The place was already packed, lots of people jammed in to the place. Apparently, they were having some kind of 80’s theme night, some of the bartenders were dressed like characters from 80’s movies, the girls were dressed like your typical Madonna types, with the big 80’s hair and lots of blue eye shadow. (Quite horrible I thought). Reggie and Scooter were already at the bar along with some other girls that we all knew.

The service was terrible when we were at the bar. Our bartender was “Iceman” from the Tom cruse movie “Top Gun”. With his Aviator sunglasses and crappy flight suite and the whole douche baggy attitude. When he was finished talking to another bartender about his sick dog crapping all over his crappy apartment. We finally got our over priced beers, Boulevard Wheat for me and Coors Light for my buddies.

If this place is going to call its self a sports bar and take any business away from Tanners (any location) or Johnny’s (any location) then they had better stop charging 4 bucks for a 10 oz draft of Coors Light. (That’s what they were charging during the KU football game on Saturday.) Because if they expect me to pay that much for a beer and then sit there and watch a sporting event and eat a meal then they are CRAZY! And just because you calm to be a sports bar or sports saloon or an Irish sports bar doesn’t mean you are one. I don’t know what a true Irish sports bar but this ain’t it. This is just a bar plain and simple. With lots of TV and loud rock music. There is nothing really special about it, if there was I missed it.

You had better get your kitchen in order also. Scooter waited for over AN HOUR for some chicken fingers and fries. Which he wasn’t happy about, and ladies and gentlemen if Scooter ain’t happy then ain’t nobody happy.

Some of the good qualities about the night were the over abundance of really good looking women. I would say that most of the women there were good looking or “top shelf” as I call them. But there really weren’t a lot of them. A good phrase to use to describe this would be “Quality over Quantity”. The quality of the women was high but the quantity was not. Which is usually what happens when the Zero’s play. When they play at the Brooksider it’s quite the sausage fest.

Another good aspect of the night was the free shots. About once or twice and hour the lady bartenders would walk up and down the bar,on top of the bar, pouring shots of whatever they had into anyone that opened their mouths. Yea, I had my fair share of those.

They had a tent set up right outside the back door for the band to play in. They were also smart enough to put in a small bar (cash only) that served Boulevard Wheat and Coors Light so people wouldn’t have to fight the crowds to get back to the bar to get a drink. Another good play was the pot-a-johns they put outside (NOT inside the tent mind you, but just out side of it) for the girls to use.

Apparently, at least this is what I have heard, is that they (the owners of these bars in the P&L District) are getting some kind of special liquor license to be able to let people walk around outside with beers and or alcohol in sort of “to go cups” (If you’ve been to the French Quarter in New Orleans you know what I’m talking about.) You can’t just leave with a glass of Long Island Ice Tea, you just have too ask for a to go cup, whether that is a plastic or what ever type of cup is up the establishment. You currently can’t do that anywhere in Kansas City, which is galacticlly stupid if you ask me. But you certainly wouldn’t be able to bring said beverage into another bar. Would you?

Overall it was a good time but then again I could have a good time at a funeral as long as it was an open bar. I would defiantly recommend it as a place to meet before or after a game or concert.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Well that Sucked

Tonight after a quick 4 mile run I took a shower, ate dinner, then went to the Macy's in Prairie Village for my first purchase of Darukah. That my friends went over like a fart in church. That store has the worst customer service in the history of all customer services ever (at least in it's men's department.)

This is the play by play:

I get there about 8 o'clock, the store closes at 9, you'd think I'd have plenty of time right? If you thought that then you'd be WRONG, DEAD WRONG!

First, I stand around waiting for the lady to finish with a customer. No big deal, I'm a patient dude, I can wait my turn, even though I was missing the KU game on TV, but it was an exhibition game, btw Kansas won 94-59, so no biggie. The saleslady finishes with the dude and tells me she'll be right back.

I say "Great, I got time, no rush."

That was about 8:15. She comes back 20 minuets later! At this point I'm getting a little annoyed. I tell her the whole deal about losing 85 pounds and that I need to get measured for dress shirts and pants, but mostly dress shirts. (I already know that I'm about a 33-32 waist) She tell me that she'll be right back with a tape measure. That was at 8:35-8:40. Remember, the store closes at 9.

After waiting 10 more minuets I say screw her, and start walking around for someone else to help me. The place is deserted. It reminded me of a scene from some horror flick where everyone vanishes off the face of the earth, and I'm the last survivor of some crazy ass nuclear accident, which would totally happen, because I'm pretty much indestructible.

Anyway, as I'm wondering around I think I should steal a wallet. But because I'm a law biding citizen and an honest person I don't steal anything. That and one of my biggest fears in life is getting gang raped in a prison yard.

She finally comes back at 8:55!!!! So I'm thinking "What the fuck lady? Where the hell did you have to go to get that tape measure, Timbuk-fuckin'-tu?? At this point I'm pretty irritated because of all the waiting around (and yes my feet hurt after the run). So I ask her what time it was and what time the store closes and then I just look at her, like WTF with my arms stretched out to my side. "Do you have time to do all of this and then ring it up and get me out of here before say 9:15? "Umm, no" she says. "Great! Thanks for nothing" Then I storm out.

FUCKING LOSERS!

Now, I'm going to go to the Men's Warehouse (unless I get better suggestions) near Oak Park Mall tomorrow. At least I know they will have some decent customer service. But I have to have dinner with C-Boy and his fam and our mom. Mom's birthday was last week but C-boy was out of town so were taking her to dinner Friday night.

Darukah Purchase: 6-pack of Boulevard Wheat.

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What the HELL am I running from? (2007)

MY AWESOMEST POST EVER!