The following story is true only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Three of my friends and I went down to the lake over the June 3rd weekend. We meet at my house about 3 and loaded up the SUV for the 2.5 hour drive. On the way down I decided that everyone was going to need a nickname for the weekend. I came up with Mr. AWESOME, because I just think that it’s a funny name. REGGIE because this guy was wearing a Reggie Sanders tee shirt, and then there was Booster because I could not think of anything else for this other dude.
We stayed at a friend’s condo at Harbor Point. It’s about a 500 yard walk from Shooters 21. On Friday night we had dinner at Dorsey’s Pit Stop which is a little bar & restaurant, plus gas station for your boat. I had the beef brisket sammich. And to my surprise it came out LOADED with pickles (read the post if you have not yet). Why would someone ruin a perfectly good sammich by putting pickles on it? So I sent the fucking sammich back and told the beer wench to get me another one and to hold the mutha-fuckin’ pickles!!! My friends just sat there with there jaws on the ground. They could not believe that I went off on the waitress like that, they were totally shitting themselves. It was awesome!
After Dorsey’s we headed to back to the room to rock out with Reggie’s IPOD which we also used on the road trip down. He had some really great classic rock and roll and some good 80’s heavy metal. After few beers at the condo we called a cab to take us to Topsiders which is the place where everybody goes on Friday nights. At least that has been our past experiences with going to the lake for 20 some odd years or so we thought. The place was dead but there were a couple of large bachelorette parties that we had some fun screwing with.
We stayed until close and then realized that we took a cab there and had not been able to snag a ride home yet. So I saw a girl I was chatting up a few hours ago walking to her car alone so I ran after her and asked her if she could give us a ride home, she was alone so she said sure. Once the other guys found out her name (Jenny) they started making fun of her talking like Forest Gump calling her "Jenny", which she thought was funny but I thought was annoying, but whatever. She dropped us off in front of the condo.
By the time I got inside Reggie was on my cell phone ordering something moronic from QVC like a sheep shear, or dog genitalia remover tool. He is always doing something really idiotic when he is wasted.
So I ripped my cell phone out of his hand and closed it, and yelled at him “Stay the fuck off my cell phone, Douche Bag!.”
He then ripped it from my grasp. Told me to “Go fuck yourself” and did his best impression of Noland Ryan by absolutely heaving it across the room. Upon impact with the wall, my cell phone, of eight years, split like a virgins legs on prom night. I instantly thought of all the phone numbers that I had stored in it and have just lost in an instant. Mr. Awesome and Booster were just laughing there stupid faces off like it was the funniest thing they have ever seen. I was just standing there with shit in my pants and rage in my fist.
I picked up the tiny pieces of what remained of the cell phone while holding back tears, and the thought of having to go though the pain, and agony of having to go cell phone shopping and thinking of all the phone numbers that were now gone to forever, because I am not smart enough to make backup copies of the numbers that I had in it.
The next morning Reggie did not remember even throwing the phone at the wall until I showed him the results of his actions. He then said his apologies and offered to buy me a new cell phone. I asked him what I supposed to for the next week, while I was still bitching at him he got up and tried to put the busted cell phone back together. Much to my surprise he was successful in his quest to repair the phone. Although I still had to hold the phone together it was able to be turned on and I was able to get all of the numbers that were stored in it. Although that was good news I was still a little peeved, so I would not let him off the hook for getting me a new cell phone.
After spending a week out of town I came home and started my quest for a new cell phone I had a couple of ideas if the cell phones that I wanted. I also knew that I would be changing carriers. Basically, because Sprint/Nextel was twice as much a month for the same number of minuets. So that was a no brainer.
So this is my new cell phone I went with the SLIVER because I have a couple of friends that already have the razor, and I wanted a cool phone, not like that piece of shit I had before. It has iTunes so I can now listen to 100 songs that I can down load from my computer. Plus it can take pictures and 15-20 second videos. I know it’s pretty sweet, don’t get too jealous. If you want one go here.
"If you drink don't drive. If you drive don't drink. If you have sex wear a condom for Christ Sakes!"