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Saturday, February 09, 2008
Friday, February 08, 2008
Thursday, February 07, 2008
This is the least amount of effort that I have ever put into these Thursday Jokes.
Charlie was fixing a door and found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary to Home Depot. At Home Depot, Mary saw a beautiful Bathroom faucet while she was waiting for Walt, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer.
When Walt was finished, Mary asked "How much for that faucet?"
Walt replied, "That's pewter and it costs $300."
"My goodness that sure is a lot of money!" Mary exclaimed. Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy, and Walt went to the back room to find it.
From the back room Walt yelled, "Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?" Mary replied, "No, but I will for the faucet."
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
I have a rule on snow days. If the majority of the schools that I attended, while growing up in K.C.K, are closed then I’m calling sick to work.
I forgot to check the news before I left for work. I usually check 5-10 min of local news just to see if there are any accidents on my route to the office.
So, now I’m at work and I just checked the list of over 150 school closings in the Kansas City Metropolitan Area (a.k.a. KC metro, or “The Metro, if you will). Imagine my surprise when I see not one, but ALL of the schools that I attended, Wyandotte County Catholic Schools, (Christ the King, and Bishop Ward) KCKCC, and JCCC, are all canceled today.
What is up with that? When I was in grade school, at Christ the King, we never and I mean NEVER, EVER had school canceled. (We did one day in grade school but that was because the boiler busted and there wasn’t any heat.) Even in the blizzard of ’78 we still had school.
We didn’t take the bus our parents drove us and some other kids from the ‘hood. My mother is a terrible driver. I won’t let her drive when we go somewhere together, which I avoid at all cost. She is so bad… (this is where you say… “How bad is she?”) My mother is such a bad driver that my younger brother C-boy once fell out of the car WHILE SHE WAS DRIVING. (Which is a hilarious story, I’ll have to tell you some time.)
But, if we did have a snow day I can guaran-fuckin’-tee you Dad would have had us out shoveling the driveway. And while we were shoveling he would have been calling the neighbors asking if they wanted us to shovel their driveway. Which have been ok, if he wouldn’t have taken a 45% sales commission.
But The SIS got to say inside and do laundry.
Anyway, my point is kids these days are soft, squishy, and taste like chicken.
(*there was no blizzard in ’78 that I can remember, I just made that up for dramatic purposes)
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
...the Jayhawks who crushed the Missouri Tigers last night.
From File Girl. Thanks!