The D Rules!!: I don't know what I was thinking

100 Facts That You Didn't Know About The D

1. The D doesn't have to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Tall buildings duck under The D.

2. The D can delete the Recycling Bin.

3. When The D goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

4. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but The D says its beef, then it's beef.

5. Whenever The D plays Chutes and Ladders, he treats the chutes as ladders, because he's not some sissy who can't climb up a plastic slide.

6. When The D deletes files from his computer, he doesn't send them to the Recycle Bin. He sends them to hell.

7. The D can slam revolving doors.

8. Once a cobra bit The D's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

9.The D can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.

10. Giraffes were created when The D uppercut a horse.

11. The D is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why he can only kick through doors.

12. The D was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

13. On his birthday, The D randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

14. The D can speak braille.

15. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for The D.

16. The D once stated that he "doesn't wail on sissy boys." This led to the pink polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know that The D was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on.

17. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. The D can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.

18. The D doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

19. The D does not sleep. He waits.

20. The D once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

21. World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted the same time, The D ate Kobayashi.

22. If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear The D laughing at you.

23. The D died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

24. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects The D could use to kill you, including the room itself.

25. The D sleeps with a night light. Not because The D is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of The D.

26. The D is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

27. The D's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools The D.

28. The D always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.

29. The D is the only one who can "try this at home."

30. The D beat a wall at tennis. Yes. A WALL.

31. The D's blood type is WD-40.

32. If The D wants some shade, he stares the sun down until it eclipses.

33. The D played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

34. The last man who made eye contact with The D was Ray Charles.

35. The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that The D's basement was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox.

36. You are what you eat. That is why The D's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

37. The D owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

38. Circles exist because The D beat the crap out of some squares.

39. The D had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow, and anywhere The D went the lamb was sure to go. So he killed it.

40. The D was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

41. The D invented the hammer when he was tired of using his forehead to slam nails into wood.

42. Getting murdered by The D counts as a natural cause of death.

43. When The D plays any video game, God mode automatically turns on.

44. The D destroyed the periodic table, saying The D only recognizes the element of surprise.

45. The D puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

46. The D counted to infinity - twice.

47. The D can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

48. Only once has The D ever cried. The only survivors were a bunch of animals and some dude named Noah.

49. The popular video game "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from The D and forgot to pay him back.

50. The D's family wraps his holiday presents in lead, so he can't see what's in them.

51. The D and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.

52. The D once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

53. The D irons his shirts while he's wearing them.

54. The D once got caught doing 100 in a 50 zone. The cop did give him a speeding ticket, however The D still pleads his innocence to this day, stating that he was simply out for a morning jog.

55. The D wears a cup not to protect himself, but to protect the players on the other team.

56. The D knows the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow (African *AND* European).

57. Onions do not make The D cry. The D makes onions crap themselves.

58. If you haven't seen Alien vs. Predator yet, don't bother, The D wins.

59. The D was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

60. The D can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

61. The D was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us, who have to fight for it.

62. On a high school math test, The D put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because The D solves all his problems with Violence.

63. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to The D and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

64. The D doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

65. The D does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

66. The D invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

67. If at first you don't succeed, you must not be The D.

68. Crop circles are The D's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the hell down and shut the fuck up!.

69. The D does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. The D goes killing.

70. The D does not believe that there are 50 states, only 2, because where ever he goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever he leaves, he leaves a State of Destruction.

71. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because The D is going to walk.

72. When The D enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

73. The only time The D was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

74. The D has the heart of a child. He keeps it in a small box.

75. The word "lesbian" derives from an old Latin phrase that roughly translates as "She who has not yet been introduced to The D."

76. Superman owns a pair of The D pajamas.

77. The movie Ray is loosely based on the life of The D, only they substituted piano playing for eating toddlers, and blindness for the ability to fly.

78. What scientists thought was natural selection is actually only the continued survival of animals The D has found too chewy to eat.

79. When The D gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

80. Santa Claus actually *did* exist until he accidentally skipped The D's house one Christmas.

81. The D has beat the crap out of so many people over his brilliant life that most medical journals now classify him as a laxative.

82. Weeping Willows are a result of The D yelling at trees for not being tough enough.

83. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when The D punched himself in the face.

84. The D can watch a season of "24" in just three hours.

85. The D is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right fist.

86. The D became a vegetarian not because he loves animals, but because he hates plants.

87. The D's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because The D will not take crap from anyone.

88. The D sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with his eyes open, and he looks pissed off.

89. The D can predict the shuffle on his iPod.

90. The D used to beat the crap out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.

91. The D is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.

92. The D doesn't have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.

93. The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: The D was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster.

94. The D can kill two stones with one bird.

95. The D can tie his shoes with his feet.

96. The D is the only person in the world who can actually give 110%.

97. The D can make a paraplegic run for his life.

98. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures The D allows to live.

99. When The D gets pulled over he lets the cop off with a warning.

100. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless The D has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Showing posts with label I don't know what I was thinking. Show all posts

Monday, January 28, 2008

Lost Captions

The Kansas City Star, my hometown paper of record, (whatever the fuck that means) is doing a contest to see who can come up with "extraordinary captions" for some pictures from the greatest Television show in the history of television shows EVER!

I think that paper is shit so I'm not going to enter the contest. The only thing you get for winning is your name in the paper. My name has already been in the paper enough lately. Over the weekend I was arrested for... wait for it... wait for it... being too fuckin, Awesome! So I thought I'd skip the formalities and just do the contest here.

What show is it, you ask? Well, it's Lost of course you stupid, dirtbag! How could you not know that? Srsly, what planet are you from? Well, you should go back to it because we don't let Dicks on this planet. And yea, your a Dick if you don't watch Lost.

The first season it was out I would spend every waking moment searching the internets for clues as to what the fuck was going on on the Island. I had about 50 different web sites I would check HOURLY at work and once again when I would get home. Then I was transfered to our home office and lost all of them and didn't have time to get them back for the second season. It ~~nearly~~ drove me crazy.

I'm commonly referred to as "That Lost Dude" at work. Which is a title that I have grown to accept. But I don't always think they're referring to the show when someone calls me that. But whatever.

(FYI if you haven't been watching the "missing pieces" webisodes then your totally fucked for this coming season. They're less than 5 min long so go watch them when you can. You can get caught up during your lunch. Or you can get a full update to the series in 8:15 (!!!!!!!!!) here.)

The season 4 premiers this Thursday at 7 pm. I really dont' know why you don't already have your DVR set for the season pass. Coincidentally, I spent my weekend watching all 23 episodes of season 3, that equals to about 18 hours of television that I watched this weekend. Yea that is a lot of TV. But it was totes worth it, I pretty much know every thing that has happened last season. If I were to be on a game show about Lost right now I would totes win!

Anyway, add your own captions in the comments if you like. This is not a contest. But if you want to send me nude pics of yourself I would not reject them. (No fatties, No dudes.)

1. Ben a.k.a Henry: "Hey, How you doooin'? Come here often?"

1a. Ben a.k.a Henry: "Please stop pummeling me! It hurts!"

1b. Russo Thinking: "Look how tough I look standing here"

1c. Ben a.k.a Henry: "Jesus, lady whadda ya eat?

2. Alex: "Yes I would like some of your island hooch, Carl."

2a. Carl: Don't worry Alex there isn't much GHB in this.

2b. Alex: "I like water it's yummy in my tummy"

3. Sawyer: "The next person to fart in my face while I'm sleeping gets a bullet in the FACE!"

3a. Sawyer: "We all know you ate all the ding-dongs, Jumbotron, so just admit it!"

3b. Locke: "What's going on here! Is it a circle jerk? Good! Sawyer, since your already in the middle your the pivot man."

4. Sun: Oh My Gawd!! Claire, Jins pe-pe is so small I have a hard time even finding it, hehehe" Do you think Hurley's is bigger? Cause I'd like to ride that whale! Hehehehehe!

Claire: Yea, American cocks a much bigger that anyone else's. hehehehehe!

4a. Claire: Yea, I totes gave Charlie a Dutch oven last night, he go so mad. It was Hilarious! It stunk sooooo bad, I think it burnt off his eyebrows, hahahah!

5. Benard: "JESUS, Sayid!! What fuck did you eat?!?! Did a wombat crawl up your ass and die? Holy fuck man, that's HORRID!!"

5a. Sayid: "Stand back I'm going to let another face-melter go!"

5b. Juliet: "I wonder if Iraqis dicks taste like chicken? They smell like chicken."

6. Benard: "AAAAAHHHH! This is the best shit I've taken in 3 months! DAMMIT I FORGOT TO DROP MY PANTS AGAIN!! FUCK!!! Rose, can you clean me?"

6a. "If that fuckin Iraqi farts on me one more time I'm going postal!!"

6b. "Fifty bucks the Smails boy picks his nose"

7. Thinking: "Look how sexy I look standing here stroking my rifle. Yea, ladies you know you want to get a taste of my 50 cal rifle. I'm fuckin' amazing."

7a. Thinking "You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? Oh, yeah? Okay! [whips out gun] Huh?

7b. Thinking: I'm the Greatest Scottsman to ever walk the planet. Hehehehe, I said "Great Scot just like that douche fro Star Trek, hehehe, Fuck I'm sexy!

8. Extra in grey tee shirt on the left: "Hey, every one Claire shit her pants again! Look, HAHAHA!!!!"

Everyone chanting: Claire's a poopy pants! Poopy Pants Claire!

8a. Clarie crying: "I can't help it Charlie keeps putting it in the wrong whole, and I'm all stretched out."

9. Kate: "Jack I'm not going to lick your ass any more until you start using toilet paper."

9a. Kate: "Yes, Jack I rode Sawyers high hard one, while we were in the cages, but I was thinking of you the whole time. I'm a 5 cent whore, you know that"

9b. Jack: "Kate, I'm going to take this satellite phone and shove it up you cooch if you don't get your dam dirty hand off my face."

Leave your own captions in the comments. Just be sure to number them.

(I have no idea what is up with the spacing of this post so don't ask.)

Friday, January 25, 2008

Annoyed

You know that feeling you get just before you sneeze? That feeling just before you inhale and then sneeze? That feeling in your knows that little tickle, that says "Hey buddy there is something in your nose and you need to get ride of it FAST!" You do? Good Cause I've had that feeling for the last 2 hours.

It’s annoying as fuck!!

GAH!!

Anyway, check out my new scrolling text. It’s 100 Facts that you didn’t know about me, The D. And the best part, they’re all TRUE!! (the twitter updates are on the right. (like you read then anyway)

Y’all have a nice *AAA-CHOOO* day! WOW! That sneeze was so good I almost had an orgasm!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Milestone, The Itch

I wasn't planning on talking about this, I was planning on talking about my weekend and the banquet, but this is just too big...wait for it... wait for it... THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

Lets all give The D around of applause for his 500th post! (This being my 500th post) It's only taken him 1 year and 10 months or, as one might say, 22 months when referring to the age of a baby, and only 2 major overhauls, that he can remember. He has had 30,456 hits since he installed the Stat Counter about a month after he started blogging. Which comes out to an average of 60.9 hits per post. (Writing in 3rd person is more difficult than you think.)

Of course I'm getting the itch again to revamp the whole thing. But I'm going to try to do it right. Instead of bribing some HTML guru to help me out I think I'm actually going to find me a couple of good books on HTML and or CSS. I think I'm going to move to word press also. Yea, I know I've threated to do that before but this time I mean it. At the risk of sounding like a control freak, I want more control over the template and the overall look of the page. But I don't know when I'll have the time or learn all that stuff so it's going to be a while before it's unleashed on the public.

So does anyone know of some good HTML, CSS, or maybe word press books that I can get on the cheap from Barnes and Noble or Amazon?

Y'all have a nice week and bundle up! Its cold out there!

Friday, January 11, 2008

Friday Feast

Appetizer
What is your middle name? Would you change any of your names if you could? If so, what would you like to be called? My middle name is my mothers maiden name. Both of my brothers and my sister don’t have first names as middle names like Christopher or Karen or whatever. We all have family names. K-dawg’s middle name is my Dads mothers maiden name. SIS has my Grandmothers maiden name, and C-boy is my Great Grandmothers (mothers side) maiden name. Would I change it? FUCK NO. It’s just one of the many reasons that make me pretty fuckin’ awesome. Plus, it’s always a good topic of conversation.

Soup
If you were a fashion designer, which fabrics, colors, and styles would you probably use the most? I have no idea, umm, canvas, burlap? Bras and panties of course.

Salad
What is your least favorite chore, and why? Cleaning that fuckin’ bathroom I have actually thought about just replacing the sink and toilet instead of cleaning them. That and cleaning is a woman job.

Main Course
What is something that really frightens you, and can you trace it back to an event in your life? I am one bad ass motherfucker! Nothing scares me. (Except the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz. I get so freaked out that I have to turn it off. So yea, I have never seen the whole movie. Also Zombies.

Dessert
Where are you sitting right now? Name 3 things you can see at this moment. Cell phone, Decimals of a foot chart, and when I look down I see my penis, I always write post while Porky Pigin', it gets the creative “juices” flowing if ya know what I’m sayin. Plus the lady that sits across from me seems to like it.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Have You Heard About These?

Just in case you live in a hole or are some kind of skank, whose been suckin' cock for the last 2 weeks. I thought I would be cool (for once) and point these little panty droppers out to you WAAAY before Valentines Day. So you can go ahead and get them now for that cheating bitch, whore of a girlfriend (or wife, or husband or boyfriend, or whatever you have) of yours.

You can customize your own M&M's here.

Holy FUCK they're only 12 BUCKS per bag! DAMN, You have to buy at least 4 bags.

Now lets discuss your message. Now remember they are M&M's, (Who eats plain M&M's? I don't think I could even trust someone who eats plain M&M's peanut are the way to go.) so we can't fit a lot on there (that's what she said.) I say, skip the I love you's and the dumb shit nicknames you have for your partner, like Shmoopy, buttercup and fuck face. I saygo straight for the jugular and go with "WHORE!", "BITCH!", "I HATE YOU!", and the ever popular "FUCKIN CUNT!" (yea I said the "C" word deal with it!)

Opps, I just tried all of those and it told me they can't print offensive words. What a bunch of DICKS these M&M people are!

Any way, I'm sure you can think of something good your fuckin' self.

WTF?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

Doug Benson from VH1's Best Week Ever is going to smoke da wacky weed for 30 days straight? Yea, that must be why they call it DOPE?

Monday, December 31, 2007

Excuse me, I have a question

I don't watch a lot of reality TV shows, but I do watch a couple of them. The Amazing Race, The Biggest Loser and Survivor, are really the only ones I watch. (FYI, there is a reason The Amazing Race has won five Emmy's, it's hands down the best one of the bunch.) But The Biggest Loser is my personal favorite. On occasion I might watch the first episode of a new one if it looks interesting. I even have a channel on my Direct TV that is made up of nothing but reality shows it's called...wait for it... wait for it... Fox Reality (hmm, Fox has a reality channel imaging that!) they advertise it as

"Nobody knows reality TV like Fox, and nobody satisfies your demand for reality television like Fox Reality. With new takes on old favorites, behind-the-scenes action you will have to see to believe, and international reality favorites, Fox Reality is the ultimate fix for the millions who have made reality TV a sensation.

If you have Direct TV it's channel 250 if your interested. If you want it call your cable provider.

Anyway, here's my question as teams, or individual contestants, are voted off, or kicked off of these shows why do they keep introducing them at the beginning of the shows? It make no sense to me whatsoever. They don't keep introducing Bob Fuckin' Barker as the host of The Price Is Right, (America's favorite game show MY ASS!) Do they? No, they don't it's Mr. "I'm no longer funny so I'll take an easy gig as a game show host" Drew Carry. They don't introduce Tom "I'm a Pompous Ass" Brokaw as the host as the NBC Nightly News do they? No, they don't do that either. They introduce Brian "I Think I'm Cooler That You" Williams. So why do they keep introducing these obvious losers that are no longer on the show? I really need to know this because it annoys the shit out of me.

And I need to know the answer to this because I firmly believe that knowing is half the battle, and the other half having a bigger gun.

Friday, December 28, 2007

New Post

Is that a generic title or what?

Just a quick "I'm sorry" to those of you that I texted or called last night at 2 am. If you didn't get one its prolly b/c 1) I don't have your number 2) I used to have your number but you bitched and whined so much about the last time I drunk dialed/texted you that I just deleted your number. Which also means we're not friends any more. 3) I didn't text every single person in my phone. So don't get your feelings hurt.

Now I need to walk up to The Twin and get my car and get some food. I still have a lot to do today. I thought a vacation was supposed to full of relaxation? I haven't relaxed once in the past week.

If your working this week then I feel sorry for you. I'm going sledging down suicide hill!

Peace Hommies!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Hey, I have an Idea!

O.k. this is a GREAT idea, that I just stumbled about all myself. I think you'll like it. It's like the best idea evar!

I want everyone to do this for the next 2 weeks or so or even better yet you can do it until your like 90 years old.

If I don't post again before Christmas I want you all to have a happy Christmas and a Merry New Year. And I mean that from the heart of my bottom! See what I did there I switched the Merry and the happy, then I swapped the heart and bottom!! HAHAHAHAHA, FUCK I'M FUNNY!!

Later Gators

Heres Something Weird

I’m getting pretty bored sitting here entertaining myself by hitting all of the blogs in my Google Reader, (which is not the same list as the list on the left there) and making stupid and inappropriate comments. It’s a good time though.

I also made an interesting discovery that I thought you might be interested in hearing about.

As I was sitting in my cubicle today my brain started itching, as I was scratching my brain I noticed that I can get my picky finger of my right hand, in my right nostril in all the way to the first knuckle! Isn’t that amazing! But while I was digging for gold a little while later I noticed that I can only get it to the end of the fingernail in the left nostril.

Is that weird?

Here’s a video:

I’m kidding there is no video

Christmas Songs

I'm not going to go as in depth as Erin did becasue it's WAY too much effort. Also I'm a lazy turd and have shopping to do.

Now THESE are Christmas Classics! Y'all betta recognize!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Mylow Open The Door?

As I'm sitting here working in my cube a song comes on my Ipod that I remember from my youth. It's by one of the greatest guitarist of one of the greatest bands of all time. The artist Pete Townsend from The Who.

I mention this to you today because, as I was listening to the song I remember thinking to myself. Self (that how I get myselfs attention when I have something to say to myself) "Who the hell is Mylow and why does he need to open the door?" At lease, that's what I used to think the title of the song was when I was much younger, like a teenager.

Well after years past I finally got a clue and figured out that the actual name of the song is "Let MY LOVE open the door."

Here's what I'm talking about.

I tell you this today because I know ALL of you have mucked up a song title or too in your day. I want to know which song, what you thought it was and what the real name of the song was.

Cause I know we have all done it.

Post Script: Joke Thursday gets posted at lunch.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Lemon Party?

The other day I was watching the latest episode of 30 Rock, which is one of my fav's. In this episode Liz's Lemon's (Tina Fey) parents come to visit her at the studio. While she is introducing them to her boss Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) Liz father says, "You can't have a Lemon party without old Dick." If you did not see the episode Liz fathers name is Dick. (It does not matter what the rest of the characters names are for this post.)

Anyway after Dick says that line there was a slight pause by the actors. Which got me thinking, did I just miss a joke or something? What did he mean by a "Lemon Party?" What is a "Lemon Party"? But I just forgot about it an enjoyed the rest of the episode. But after a few days it started to get on my nerves. What the hell did he mean by that? Surely, I didn't just miss the joke did I?

So this weekend I Goggled "Lemon Party"... HOLY SHIT!! O.M.G!!! You guys... You guys... HOLY SHIT... YOU GUYS!!! Y'all aren't even going to believe some of the vile shit I found. Y'all don't even want to know what I found!! It's some of the most disgusting stuff I have ever see! (second to this stuff of course)

I'm not going to link to it because I'm still ashamed of that other post I put up a few days ago, you'll just have to Google it yourself.

But I'll will tell you what it is, a "Lemon Party" is apparently "A nice little orgy involving three older, overweight men with flaccid penises." See I told you it was disgusting.

Here is a funny video that will make you a understand what I mean, or make you a little uneasy seeing how Christmas is next week and you might see your Grandpa.

So, now that you all know what a Lemon Party is, you also understand get the line from 30 Rock "You can't have a Lemon party without old Dick." Which is now pretty funny. It also started me down this vile and disgusting journey just to understand a line from a TV show.

I'm truly sorry from the heart of my bottom. But I had nothing else to post about.

P.S. That video is totes NFSW!!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Weekend Fun

Friday night I just chilled out at the house. Saturday The EYE-talian, Scooter, his wife, and I, (The D) went to the KU game at the Sprint Center.

Scooter scored some tix from someone that had VIP tickets to the Founders Room.

The beers were 7 BUCKS!!

Best 7 dollar beer EVAR!

On to the game! These 2 picks were taken one after the other. This one is not zoomed in at all (yea were way the fuck up there but they were kind enough to hand out free oxygen masks.)

And this one is taken right after with the FULL ZOOM!!

Doesn't that zoom just kick ass! (This is where you can insert your own joke about a zoom lens and my penis.)

Here I am concentrating on either the game or the cheerleaders or both. It was cold in the Sprint Area so I kept my scarf on the whole game.

And what kind of blogger would I be if I went to a sporting event and didn't include some cheerleader picks? Here ya, go your welcome;

That spot is some jerks bald head.

Here are some random game actions shots: HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!

Time out, Bill wants to talk this over.

Darrell Arthur at the line.

After the ass whipping we put on Ohio the 4 of us head over to McFadden's for some tasty libations.

These are random peeps.

I probably just said something inappropriate to some random chick. Oh, well!

After Mcfadden's we headed to Westport where Scooter dropped the EYE-Tailian and I off at Kelly's. I was rocking the Escalade!

We had one drink at Kelly's then we headed to the Point. Where I my buddy B.C. was working. We had a bunch of drinks there. Then The EYE-talian had to go cause he was wasted. I then headed down to J.J's to crashed a G.N.O that some of my pals were having. It made their night that I showed up.

When I got there Abby started yelling at me b/c I was "apparently" wearing my scarf wrong. So my new pal Baywatch fixed it.

I really don't know whats up with these faces I'm making.

No I wasn't drunk at ALL!

Anyway Peace out my Homies!
Thanks for reading!

Hella Busy!

So, I'm hella busy at work this week so post might be a little light. I'm going have to work 12-15 hours days to get this submittal out on Friday. Then I'm off for 2 weeks. Just like last year, I'm thinking about just bolting out of town after Christmas and blowing my whole bonus check on blow and hookers in Key West.

Who's with me?

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Proud!

Y'all will be happy to know that I went out last night with the fellas and did NOT send any drunk text nor did I make any drunken phone calls.

I'm pretty proud of myself. You should be too.

On a side note, is there anything better that a Diet Cherry coke on a cold winter day? I think not.

Now I'm going to watch the Chiefs lose to the Titans.

Late.

Did You Know

Did you know that, IN FACT, rock and roll is, IN FACT, NOT noise pollution!

Heres proof!

So know you know... and knowing is half the battle.

Peace out my Homies!

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What the HELL am I running from? (2007)

MY AWESOMEST POST EVER!